The CW


Riverdale S01 E09: What Riverdale should really be doing, and maple syrup empires are very dramatic

Posted at 4:06 PM, Apr 13, 2017
and last updated 2017-04-13 15:59:55-04

This week on Stranger Things, Barb gets a new wardrobe, Nancy and Jonathan kiss, Joyce goes ballistic and Will and the Demogorgon talk it out in the Upside Down…

Oh wait… This is Riverdale! Shannon Purser who played both Barb in Stranger Things and our Riverdale  Ethyl Muggs certainly brought out the comparison. But Stranger Things is a perfect example of everything Riverdale should be doing.

Give me twin peaks meet teen drama. Give me Archie’s Weird Mysteries (if anyone remembers that comic) Give me Stranger Things!

Instead we’re pushed into the corporate maneuvering of the Blossoms maple syrup empire, the Lodge’s potentially criminal business dealings plus more Fred Andrew’s construction company situation something. There was so much parental plot I was seeing Red. And Red. And Red!

With Jason’s death there’s no heir apparent to the Blossom Maple Syrup Empire… What’s that you say? What about his twin sister Cheryl? Sorry but the Blossom Empire is built on a patriarchy. That’s why Clifford Blossom had his eye on Archie

Andrews and a potential relationship with his daughter this entire episode. The deal making includes a top-notch music school for Archie and a promise from Clifford to stop interfering with Fred Andrews construction.

Archie ultimate walks away from it all after Cheryl tries to solidify the deal with a kiss. Resulting in a now rejected and potentially revenge bent Cheryl scratching out Archie and Polly Cooper from a photo!

With all the insanity around Cheryl and the Blossom’s the only smart one was Val who early on looked at Archie was like “bye.”

Speaking of Bye – after Hal Cooper declines to publish an expose on the Blossom’s by Alice and Betty, he forces Alice out of the Riverdale Registry. So Betty and Jughead invite her to work for the Blue and Gold – because momma Cooper working for the High School Paper makes any sort of sense.

Oh and Daddy’s girl Veronica Lodge is done. Those pearls are torn and scattered on the floor. When Veronica befriends Ethyl Muggs after a heartbreaking classroom confessional, Veronica discovers Hiram Lodges business dealings bankrupted the Ethyl’s family and that Ethyl’s family is set to testify against Hiram.

Veronica also convinces Hermione to come clean to Fred that Lodge’s are the mysterious investors and an overhead conversation from Archie suggests the Blossom’s have it out for the Lodge’s… Was Jason’s death not part of Blossom/Cooper feud but a Blossom/Lodge feud? Is Hiram now a suspect?

All that’s on hold next episode as the Riverdale teens throw a surprise birthday party for Jughead. But there’s trouble in the forecast with Tsunami Cheryl spiraling the party out of control.

Plus it’s the return of Archie’s mom in the newest Riverdale…. The Lost weekend!