Author Dawn West has built a body of work around one central idea: before you can find the right relationship, you have to do the work on yourself first.
West joined Inside South Florida to discuss her two latest books — a self-love journal called Love Language and her newest release, Meet the Requirements — and why she believes accountability, not luck, is what stands between most people and the relationship they are looking for.
Starting with self-love
West says the inspiration for Love Language came directly from conversations she was having with women at events she hosted.
"The more I would sit with women in these spaces talking about relationships and all the aspects of a relationship, I realized that a lot of people were forgetting to do the work with self-love first," West said.
The journal is designed to serve as a daily reminder to prioritize yourself before pouring into others.
"You can continually pour into other people, and if your cup is not full, you know you can't do anything for yourself first. You have to love yourself. You have to remember to do all the things, and you have to remember that you know you're first and foremost in your life," she said.
West says even a small daily commitment can make a difference.
"Even if it's 30 minutes for myself before I start trying to be everything for the world," she said.
Meeting your own requirements
Her latest book, Meet the Requirements, takes that foundation of self-love and applies it directly to dating and relationships.
"You have women and men alike talking about what they're looking for in their partner, their list of requirements in a person. And a lot of times, we forget to realize that if I'm looking to attract ABC or XYZ in a person, I need to be those things," West said.
She is quick to point out that the message is not about perfection.
"Not to say that we're all works in progress, not to say that you have to have fully arrived at that space, but at least have the mental wherewithal to be able to give what it is that you would like to receive, so that you can be a magnet of that and attract that," she said.
The real reason relationships feel hard
When asked about the widespread belief that relationships are harder to find today, West pushed back on the idea — and pointed to a different root cause.
"Relationships aren't necessarily hard to come by. Accountability is. A lot of people lack accountability, and when we lack accountability, then that does not open the door for us to make room for improvement and to be our best selves, to be able to attract our best partner," West said.
She says a closed mindset is often the biggest obstacle.
"If your mind is closed off to the reality that you have not yet arrived, you're never going to find what it is you're looking for. You're always going to have that mindset that relationships are hard to come by," she said.
Both Love Language and Meet the Requirements, along with all of West's books, are available on Amazon in print and digital formats. Digital copies are also available through her website, dawnwest.fans.link. West can be found on social media at @IAmDawnWest, where purchase links are available in her bio.
This story was reported on-air by a journalist and has been converted to this platform with the assistance of AI. Our editorial team verifies all reporting on all platforms for fairness and accuracy.
