Love shouldn't be confined to Valentine's Day, according to relationship expert Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario, who emphasizes that meaningful connections require daily effort throughout the year.
Del Rosario, known as "America's marriage coach," said couples should focus on small daily gestures rather than trying to express all their love on one designated day.
"Love is all about a journey. Marriage and living together, being with a partner, is all about that journey," Del Rosario said. "So certainly we can't try to pack it all in on one day. My God, Valentine's Day is just not sufficient. So, really, you need to be about how I communicate this love. Is this love that I have for this person 365 days?"
Del Rosario explained that understanding biological differences between partners can improve daily interactions. She noted that when men finish their workday, testosterone levels drop, while women's estrogen levels also decrease. These hormonal changes create different needs for each partner.
"A man needs solitude, to just think of nothing and do nothing. A woman needs conversation and touch," Del Rosario said.
She recommends a specific daily routine when partners reunite after work: embrace with eye contact, share a deep hug or kiss, have a brief conversation about the day, then allow the male partner time alone to recharge.
"It's a part of meeting that person's needs. So when I see that this is what works for him, and this is what he needs, and it's beneficial, I'm giving it to myself," Del Rosario said. "I do it for him, but then it gives something back to me, because now he's in a position to help me."
To maintain excitement in long-term relationships, Del Rosario emphasizes the importance of intention and introduces the concept of "T.A.A.T.," meaning "touch at all times."
"Everything starts with intention. If that's what you're going to intend to build in your relationship, you will find the tools that work for you," Del Rosario said.
The touch-at-all-times approach involves simple physical connections like holding hands while watching television or interlocking feet on the couch. These small gestures build intimacy over time and create sustainability in relationships.
"When you begin to start with certain small gestures, they build to bigger gestures, and it creates sustainability," Del Rosario said. "It's very different from just trying to figure out how to be intimate. No, it's a decision. I want to build intimacy."
Del Rosario offers books, blogs, and courses through her website for couples seeking to strengthen their relationships beyond Valentine's Day celebrations. For more information, visit her website, drjacquie.com, or follow her on social media at @askdrjacquie.
